Something Nasty Lurks In The Grass… (..and it’s not the SNAILS!)

…and why is this so familiar!

Not just progress, not even the dying echoes of ‘Save Our Village’. What on face value is an ordinary – but here… not – planning application meeting Government approved figures for new builds across the land, something in itself divisive albeit a fact of life, what we have here is obfuscation imploding in a painful place.

Not that the snails involved have a clue what is going on. And, not just any snail but Roman Snails at that – the protected ones!

Is this the lost tribe of Swampy returning to bring a plague upon all our houses…? Well, not ‘ours’..but it could be! Besides this isn’t a group-hug-effort of urbanites hell bent on the dissolution of Parliament […don’t underestimate the possibility though] this stems from a  ‘…wrapped up in brown paper sealed with wax’ Town Council & District Council hatchet job agreement /deal beautifully ensuring the ‘i’s’ are dotted and the ‘t’s’ crossed.

The ubiquitously lost in translation bit comes from the latter having to first ask the former to pass – or deny – the small matter of a planning application. Otherwise the very building of a brick wall fails.

In that alone – referring anything to a so-called quasi self-appointed group in the main beckons distrust – and at the bottom end of local  government too, at least it should ruefully cause a sideways glance. But hey, it’s a chance for the ‘good/elected peers of the community’ to play sway as monoliths masquerading under the guise of a planning committee – remember, a low level one at that – which at its next stage is to pass and seek the gleeful approval of ‘it’s betters’ up the fodder ridden ranks of bureaucracy. “…Pass the Port Please… don’t mind if I do!”

But simple things rarely are ‘…simples’

“…..every journey begins with a single step” – Lao-tzu 

Tanked up as you are with what is and what’s best, there just happens to a single figure involved in this. I Digress though… I must. A step backwards to set the scene. Here is a relatively speaking small parcel of land. Befitting the locale for its intended usage and as you do, you the community, goes forth and seeks to have its status upgraded for posterity not prosperity. Odd then your local Distric Council not Town Council would leverage out and instruct a Barrister to assert its cause against in a Public Inquiry.

This hitherto oddity is vexing until you realise that the elected Town Council cannot be arbiter but only the District Council can. Hence behold the ‘wig’ to protect DC interests. And the plot thickens – Press On

So returning to the former and latter, both had agreed a deal, an understanding or basically a return of the latter’s ownership…spun to local residents as a ‘Amenity Space’. So where is the problem?!

What apparently occurs and all in the name of prosperity and progress and one almighty side-step to avoid the wrath of central Government, is to earmark a once productive allotment site now abandoned […don’t ask me why] into a housing estate.

OK, so what..it happens all the time… Why is it any different?

But.. Bats – Nyctalus noctula Tawney Owl – Strix aluco Roman Snail – Helix pomatia Toads – Bufo bufo & Slow Worms – Anguis fragilis Have it..

Yeah, this lot have it..and someone will rue the day….!

So the Zoo’s all here or in common parlance of any developer panic. And a torrid tale of conflicted timing of applications here there and everywhere ensues. A sorry mess if there ever was. Thankfully, definitive detective work revealed how such a can of worms has been permitted to arise.

Why at this stage the local and national press hadn’t dived in on this beleaguers me.

Worthy of Jazmine Dawson herself. Which one was it when she nailed the fall guy? In real life, this could well be, allegedly, ‘…a paid official?!’ Right. Better now for the star of this show – and this time it’s not a novel – to be revealed…. Carol Hedges.

You need to read this story. What I hope is there turns out to be a scandal, nipped in the bud before a sod is turned. Naturally involvement of loftier peers than I should investigate. Even George Dixon would pass it to Andy.

Do I smell the Central Criminal Courts’ beckoning?

Well my Legal friends who could be reading this…..!!!

“…what do you think?” – Hitchcock